Turturkeykey inspired by How I Met Your Mother

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In "Blitzgiving", Ted Mosby demonstrates the pitfall of many new cooks: attempting to innovate way too early in his kitchen career. A rudimentary understanding of how meat cooks in an oven would dissuade our omniscient narrator, but without it, The Gentleman would never have been born, and the curse of The Blitz would never have been passed. Happy Thanksgiving guys!


Turkey Stock

  • Turkey trimmings (bones and other pieces)

  • Vegetable oil

  • Celery

  • Carrots

  • Garlic

  • Onion

  • Fresh rosemary

  • Fresh thyme

  • Parsley

  • Black peppercorns

  • Bay leaves


  • 1 Tbsp sage

  • tsp thyme, finely minced

  • 1 tsp rosemary, finely minced

  • Kosher salt

  • Freshly ground pepper

  • Freshly grated nutmeg

  • Freshly grated garlic

  • Olive oil

  • Whole turkey


Turkey Stock

  1. Lay out the turkey trimmings on a wire rack that is set on top of a rimmed baking sheet. Drizzle the trimmings with a bit of vegetable oil and place into a 450F oven for 30 to 45 minutes until the trimmings are deeply golden brown.

  2. Place the trimmings into a tall and narrow stockpot. The more narrow the pot, the less evaporation there will be and the longer you can allow it to simmer without having to top off with extra water. To the pot, add some chopped celery, chopped carrots, one whole head of garlic that is chopped in half, one whole onion that is quartered, a few sprigs each of fresh rosemary and fresh thyme, a little handful of parsley, a few whole black peppercorns, and two bay leaves.

  3. Bring it to a bare simmer, partially cover the pot, and allow to simmer anywhere from 4 to 24 hours. You may use an induction burner if you do not want to keep the stove on all night.


  1. Begin by not only de-boning the turkey, but removing the meat and trying to keep as much of the skin as intact as possible. This will ease the process of making a turkey roulade, which will allow us to stuff the turkey with even more turkey.Follow the video if you want to try to do this!

  2. Taking the dark meat, trim off the gristle and fat from the thigh as well as the drumstick. Cut into 1-inch cubes and place on a parchment lined baking sheet or plate to be chilled in the freezer for 15 to 25 minutes until just starting to turn firm around the edges. Put your food processor blade in the freezer as well. This will make the meat a whole lot easier to grind.

  3. Place the blade and the dark meat into the food processor and pulse repeatedly until you end up with a nice and finely textured dark meat ground turkey sausage mixture. Dump the meat out into a bowl.

  4. For flavor, add some finely chopped fresh herbs including a packed tablespoon of sage, a teaspoon of finely minced thyme, and a teaspoon of finely minced rosemary. Season with kosher salt and freshly ground pepper and then add a little bit of freshly grated nutmeg and a clove or two of freshly grated garlic. Mix together with your hands until all of the herbs and spices are evenly distributed.

  5. Taking the breast, remove the tender from the bottom and trim off any fat or gristle. Butterfly the breast so that it is nice and thin for the roulade. Cover with plastic wrap and pound it with either a meat mallet or a frying pan until it is completely flat. For the resemblance of a rectangle, trim and butterfly the tender and use it to patch the corner of the breast.

  6. Evenly spread the turkey sausage mixture over the top of the flat tender, pat it down, and begin rolling it up starting with the side that has been patched so that it all stays together.

  7. Flatten out the skin until it is as flat and stretched as possible. Place the roulade in the very center with the seam facing upward. Wrap it in the skin, trim off any excess, and begin to tie. Tie it every 1 to 2 inches and make sure to tie it tighter towards the thicker part of the breast for a more even roulade that cooks more evenly. Rub the roulade down with olive oil, season with kosher salt and freshly ground pepper.

  8. Once the roulade is nice and evenly seasoned, roast at 400F until the thickest part of the roulade registers to about 160F. Allow it to rest uncovered for 20 minutes to prevent the skin from getting flabby.

  9. Carve and serve as desired, top it off with some gravy that is made from the homemade stock, and add a sprinkle of freshly chopped parsley. Enjoy!